


it ain't Christmas, buddy

by cloudfactories



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Secret Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2020-07-28 14:00:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20065183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudfactories/pseuds/cloudfactories
Summary: Donghyuck invests in Mark’s gift rather than his usual endeavors of flipping through his porn magazines. He doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t want to say he likes him.





	it ain't Christmas, buddy

**Author's Note:**

> -some of the scenes here were revised to the T. scenes were added and fixed. most of the story was based on real-life and yes, the concert did take place in real life. i had fun revisiting my old memories of my high school, and writing it up made me feel so nostalgic.  
-i hope you like the story as much as i did writing it.

“Seriously…Donghyuck? You read?” Johnny eyed the book tucked inside his bag among other paraphernalia. Donghyuck huffed and pushed the said book deeper among the rustle of other contents until the bold letters of the title were not visible under Johnny’s hawk eyes.

“Not funny.” Donghyuck stated impassively, twirling a stray pen he found on his desk, in between his fingers. A habit he got from Mark, which never seem to cease away. Johnny shrugged and signaled Yuta to come over at their desk. Yuta, promptly, took a seat on the yellow desk, shifting comfortably as his one leg dangled on the other side. 

“What’s up?” Yuta tore a stretchy piece of candy, before chewing it down hard. Donghyuck shot a glare at Johnny but the latter brushed it off casually. At times like that, Donghyuck couldn’t comprehend the reason he befriended Johnny, the latter being nosy as fuck.

“Donghyuck…”Johnny petered into breathy chuckles, “…he bought a fucking book. Like one of those heavy novels. Can you believe it?”

“You sure that ain’t a porn magazine?” Yuta asked cockily, guffawing, shaking his shoulders as he did too. It wasn’t even funny, evident by Donghyuck’s upturned lips. He paused slightly to tear off another bite of the candy.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes and reeled in the cursed memory of when he tried to sneak in a porn magazine (worst mistake he had ever done) into class but was caught foolishly by those jesters. They never buried it and popped it up whenever chance struck upon them. If only Donghyuck had those memory wands from Men in Black, he could have wiped those montages from their head right then.

But luckily, as much as they tried to poke fun with the matter, they never stuck with it. They soon discoursed into another topic, whichever caught their eyes or tongue and laughed about it. So, Donghyuck was only tortured for five minutes or ten and was left out of hell after that.

“Porn…PO…”Johnny enunciated the letters with struggle, rolling it on his lips, “The word is already so lewd. No wonder I can’t eat prawns.”

“Don’t ruin prawns for me.” Yuta bantered, “It’s enough Ten traumatized my life after showing me that milk video. Disgusting.” Johnny scrunched his face in disgust, and held his hand out, asking for some of the candy. Yuta toppled some pink tablets on his hand and shook the container, asking if Donghyuck wanted some.

“Nah…I’m good.” Donghyuck waved it down with a wave, and Yuta bit into another stretchable candy to devour in between his teeth.

“Were you seriously reading porn? What kind?” Yuta prodded, and Donghyuck trailed a grave sigh. He passed a glance in between his ruffled bangs, noticing Yuta’s curious eyes digging holes into him. But Yuta’s eyes were like that curiously wide and aggressive like. Donghyuck deemed if he should tell them, but it would make itself as another subject to laugh about. Donghyuck wasn’t sure if he could tolerate such humiliation._ Porn-obsessed freak_ was enough.

“For the last time guys…that was just one time. I was just curious how…”Donghyuck voice descended lowly, “that sex scene would turn out.” Yuta looked at him with a condescending smirk, before morphing his face into a softer expression, “Well, you can look. You are a boy with hormones after all. I mean I watch porn whenever I can squeeze enough time. Those are my needs.”

“Yeah…sure…”Johnny added, “Just don’t masturbate too much. Believe it or not, I looked it up, but it does stuff. Bad stuff.”

“They do?”

“ Oh well,” Johnny rolled his eyes, settling his fumbling hands on the table, “I mean that was what I was told when I asked the forum. They told me…”

Donghyuck muted the conversation to a quiet hum, as he burrowed himself in the embrace of his arms. Johnny probably went on to tattle about the forum, where he asked certain questions that ate up his curiosity. It probably encouraged Yuta to open one, as he heard some rustles of Yuta rummaging his pocket for his phone, as he nudged Johnny repeatedly for the website_. Idiots…._

“Oh Mark!” Yuta hollered, and it perked Donghyuck’s attention. His heart was galumphing in his ribcage, as he couldn’t bear to raise his head, so he snuggled a bit deeper into the warmth.

“Happy Birthday, man. When is the party?” Yuta snugged a smothering hug, as Mark tried to tear himself off of his flailing limbs. Donghyuck watched it unfold from the corner of his eyes, although it did not provide a better perspective. He could barely make out the tousled hair strands of Mark, ruffled slightly by Yuta’s palm, The school jacket loosely hung on to his elbows, as the white shirt stuck to his chest like a second skin. It was like the usual, and Mark didn’t appear any different. But perhaps, Donghyuck’s own stupid heart did.

“No party.” It earned a consonant whine from both Johnny and Yuta, “Mom’s words. Not mine.” Mark added as hoisted his bag over to Johnny’s desk, before leaning in towards the two, “By the way, what’s up with Donghyuck?”

“Rubbed his cock too much, I guess.” Johnny quipped, and Donghyuck could only groan inwardly. Mark squeaked a ‘geez’ in between his lips, before punching it close to imitate a pop sound. Johnny don't embarrass Donghyuck at every opportunity thrown at you challenge…utterly failed 

“Johnny is kidding.” Yuta patted Donghyuck’s back comfortingly, softly coiling his fingers on his nape, “Anyway, there is this forum in the on the Internet, that discusses these sexual endeavors. Johnny showed it to me just now.”

“Why were you lurking in there anyway?” Mark looked at Johnny in unmasked disbelief (_read_: disgust) whereas Johnny only pursed his lips and shook his shoulders nonchalantly.

“Wow…”Mark exclaimed, “that’s disgusting. Poor guy…” Yuta most probably had shown him some weird anecdote shared on the forum, as he wheezed repeatedly continuing to attract Mark’s attention by sliding down the forum. Mark didn’t react much, except escaping some hums and preoccupied ‘Yes’s. Donghyuck knew Mark was never the one to be interested in idiotic odds and ends which usually ended up being perverted or political shit. Yuta, and Johnny, in their defense, wasn’t interested either, but they had to keep up with the trends of the classroom. You know, those are considered great social instruments.

Perhaps, that was why Mark and Donghyuck hadn’t had any friends except those two.

However, in a matter of minutes, Yuta sneaked in the news of his favorite band playing in some university Fiesta and was trying hard to convince Mark to buy him some tickets. Mark didn’t budge, and held his “No”s, waving his hands. Yuta had already shoved the screen to Mark’s face, making him take note of the cost and that it was petty considering what Yuta had given him as a gift. Donghyuck peeked slightly from the gap of his elbows watching the cacophony unfold.

“Please…It’s just one time!” Yuta imitated some shrill voice from the animation he was into those days, thinking it was ought to make Mark give in. But as obstinate as Mark was, his stinginess was enough to shield him from every whine Yuta drew out.

“Dude, today is my birthday yet you are bugging me to buy YOU something. Have some conscience.” Mark snickered, as the table behind him clunked against Donghyuck’s chair, bursting the latter from his bubble of drowsiness.

“Hey, Donghyuck! Could you scoot in front?” Mark asked, and Donghyuck slightly pulled the chair with him, shimmying with feathery steps. “I thought he was asleep,” Yuta remarked, despite his ongoing foolishly raging argument with Mark. See, they had a short attention span,

“Not yet.” Mark chuckled. Donghyuck gulped a bit, having the rhythmic breathy laugh so close to his ear shell. He could feel his nervousness rising up his throat like an after-taste vomit, and he couldn’t suppress it down. He was so smitten, OH GOD.

Donghyuck stretched his arms in front, almost touching the metal head of the chair in front. Stifling a yawn with the back of his palm, he looked around with blurred eyes, trying to focus on the moving blobs of his rowdy classmates. Somewhere sitting on the window ledge, others were trying to hang down the fan and others found sanctuary on their tables, among their group of friends. The camaraderie made Donghyuck feel at ease.

The front opened, filtering in the galloping cheers of the students rushing through the corridors. The grumpy man stepped in with files occupying his arms. The gaunt features on his face relaxed, once he saw all the students scurrying towards their seat. Afterward, Donghyuck and the others stood up to wish the teacher in unison, with Mark bumping into Donghyuck’s chair. Donghyuck hissed, causing Mark to mumble some apologies.

“Looks like he is sensitive today,” Yuta remarked, as they took their seat.

The teacher trudged towards the front and slapped his register on the table. With grumbles under his breath, he started their roll-call, curling their names on his tongue in annoyance. Among the numerous names that appeared, Mark’s one fell right after Donghyuck. Donghyuck felt on edge all day, but just hearing Mark’s name out loud made him feel queasy.

“Oh…”The teacher let out a deep hum, “Isn’t today Mark’s birthday?”

The students collapsed into loud yells and whistles, Yuta’s shrill screech drilling in Donghyuck’s ear. Mark nodded sheepishly as he stood up, overwhelmed. The middle-aged man, laughed a bit and asked everyone to sing him the birthday song. Donghyuck didn’t join, as the song filled up his insides, while his fingers felt around the telltale of the book through his leather school bag. 

˖◛⁺⑅♡

_“Hey…I didn’t know this was here.” Mark, uttered, his obscure voice taking in the air of the muteness of the library._

_ “What?” Donghyuck popped his head up, from one of the shelves in front. He could only make out Mark’s raven hair, sicking static in the air. Donghyuck delved back down, as he held a magazine in his hand. The girl in the glossy_ _ magazine_ _ paper was proactively sinking h_ _er_ _ teeth in a green apple, but he quickly shifted all the papers close._

_ “The book…Strangers On The Train…it is here. I’ve been wanting to read it for a while.” Donghyuck slipped in the magazine back into the she_ _lf_ _ and tilted another smut magazine to roll his eyes over._

_“_ _I know.” _ _On that magazine_ _, it was another girl, threatening to show her nipples by hooking her bra over her cleavage. He gulped when he _ _realized_ _, it didn’t turn him on at all. “You wanted the book for Christmas…but it wasn’t available, right?” Mark tip-toed over his part of the shelf to scan Donghyuck’s eyes but was taken aback when he found Donghyuck staring back at him._

_ “Do you want to buy it?” Donghyuck eagerly asked, the magazine slipping away from his hand as it met the carpeted floor below. The white light stuck above, illuminated those pearl-like eyes of Mark’s as he flashed a wide grin at Donghyuck._

_ “Nope. Costs a hefty.” He said, slightly mawkish tone knotted on his voice. Donghyuck slumped his shoulders when he knew the impecunious state they were both caught in. Mark barely could save money, having to pay for all his entities _ _since_ _ that he was living alone and Donghyuck never had money anyway, wasting it on food and other useless sprees._

_“_ _Okay,” Donghyuck said impassively, buckling to pick the magazine up off the floor. He slapped the cover slightly, before lingering his finger on one of the busts of the woman._

_ “What are doing?” Mark peered curiously _ _in his aisle_ _, trudging close slowly. Donghyuck quickly tucked the magazine among the rest and displayed his empty hands in the air. “See, nothing.” Mark let out a dry chuckle before hoisting his arms over Donghyuck’s shoulder, knocking him in with his knuckles on his head playfully._

_ “Is this about your unhealthy obsession with porn?”_

_ “Who told you that?” Donghyuck asked, struggling in Mark’s hold. His legs whipped in the air, still holding on to their small aggrandized fights before Mark let Donghyuck go with a soft punch on his sides. The latter winced lowly, and let Mark guffaw over his paper-like body._

_ “You know Johnny spills a lot when he is baked.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes and imitated Mark’s tone before Mark pulled him away to the exit._

_ “You can go first,” Donghyuck said, and he flicked his finger towards the glass doors. Mark furrowed his brows, stepping closer to Donghyuck’s face._

_ “Is it because I punched you? I am sorry.” He jutted his lips out, and Donghyuck's fingers squirmed in discomfort. “Nope and move.” He pushed Mark to trip a few steps backs, and Mark caught himself not to miss a footing._

_ “Are you going to buy a magazine-”_

_ “No. Now go.” Donghyuck inclined his head towards the exit and strictly planted his finger in the air._

_ “Okay…” Mark trailed, and Donghyuck waited until his presence dissipated in the crowd. He quickly ran to the shelf Mark was previously standing beside, and quickly scanned the titles looking for the book. Once he found it, he toppled it on to his hand and escorted it to the checkout._

_ “How much is it?” He fished out a couple of tens from his pocket and bunched on the table. The cashier squinted at them and told the copious price of the hard-cover. He rummaged his pocket for more notes and a couple of lucky changes and huddled it together._

_ The cashier collected it all, impassively, passing only a coin over the table. The exchange was complete,_ _and Donghyuck was robbed out of his lunch money for a week._

_ “It’s good that you bought the book. It is an uncommon book to find, so be glad you bought it quickly before anyone got their hands on it. Also, hence the price.” The cashier threw the book in a plastic bag and handed it over Donghyuck’s shaky hands. He chanted to himself, ‘It better be worth it.’_

˖◛⁺⑅♡

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Johnny asked worriedly and poked Donghyuck’s shoulder.

“I think this has been the 5th time I have told you. No. I am on a diet.” Donghyuck snapped his face to the other side, eyes unfocused on the blur of the students. 

“Diet…for what?” Johnny droned, bugging Donghyuck to accompany him to the canteen. He even offered to pay for his lunch, and it made Donghyuck slightly delighted that his friend couldn’t bear to see him hungry.

“What is going on?” Mark appeared by his side, nudging Donghyuck with his elbow. Donghyuck could feel the vomit rising up again in the form of tasteless bile. Oh, how he wanted to push Mark away from his side.

“He is throwing a tantrum that he is not going to eat.”

“Well, it looks to me that you are throwing a tantrum.” Mark cut back, and Johnny only slumped his shoulders. Soon enough, Mark turned to Donghyuck and sighed upon the unusual demeanor he had been holding up. 

“You okay? You have been acting weird all day.” Mark’s legs accidentally knocked up on Donghyuck’s bag, and Donghyuck quickly jabbed his legs away with a fist and carried the bag on his lap. He had his eyeballs stretched, and he quickly wandered his hands inside to check if the book was alright. Mark squinted at him, trying to comprehend whatever the ordeal Donghyuck was going through was, flickering his eyes over the bag to his face.

“Hey, what was that?” Mark asked suspiciously and tried to claw the bag from Donghyuck’s hold. But as obstinate as Donghyuck’s was, he didn’t let go with the small amount of strength he mustered. Mark didn’t force back but let it go eventually. There was no avail fighting with Donghyuck, and he knew it well.

“Donghyuck, it’s okay if you didn’t bring me a gift. But don’t be so moody about it.” Mark snapped, as he sprung from his chair. “Johnny, did you tease him again comparing his gift with your Apple watch?”

“I might have.” Johnny nodded, making way for Mark to pass through.

“No wonder he has been acting up.” Mark mused, and quickly turned to Donghyuck, “If you need food, I have a lunch box inside my bag. You can help yourself.”

Donghyuck was left alone to wallow alone in his stupidity, _because why in the hell was it so hard to pass a small gift to your best frien__d, on whom you might have a teeny tiny crush__?_

“Hi.” Yuta interrupted his inner volcano of denial by passing a wrapped-up sandwich under his shadow, “Thought you might be hungry.”_Donghyuck’s stomach was fucking growling._

“Thanks.” He quickly fished out the tomatoes in between the bread, which Yuta placed under his own wrap.

“Do you like Mark or something?” Yuta asked so suddenly, that Donghyuck was about to choke on the first bite but luckily, he was able to gulp it in. 

“You don’t like him, right? Please tell me you don’t.” Yuta didn’t bite into his sandwich at all but studied Donghyuck's expression. Donghyuck muffled his answer (which was nothing fathomable anyway) with another humongous bite of the bread.

“I think Mark likes you too.” It enticed Donghyuck’s throat to convulse again and vomit the churned food back on to the wrapper. Yuta looked at with dismay and coaxed a chocking Donghyuck with pats on his back. Well, finally the freaking vomit was out.

“What makes you say that?” Donghyuck strained, as he gurgled in a mouthful of water. He heaved a sharp exhale, before letting his sandwich be forgotten on the table. He was sure he could never eat a sandwich the same, it was an image of distaste now.

“Oh…so today I was asking Mark about the concert, right? Well, he agreed to pay for me.”

Donghyuck nodded before adding, “You forced him to pay for you.”

“No, I didn’t…”Yuta replied abashed and hands slapped on his chest, “Okay, fine. I did. But in the end, more than giving up to my ‘forcing requests’ he agreed. He told me that he would give me the money and that I have to buy three tickets. Well, two tickets are for him and me, but the third ticket was the mystery. I asked him and he was like, “Mind that Yuta was imitating the worse, exaggerating version of Mark, “I have someone to ask out. It’s none of your business though.”

“What makes you think it was me?” When Donghyuck asked that question, he didn’t want to know the answer. He knew whatever blew out of Yuta’s mouth was the premonition of something usually hapless.

“The band playing at the concert…it's your favorite band. Also, the day they are playing it is on whatever the friendship anniversary thing you both celebrate. Are you, what, school girls?” Yuta mumbled something in the sandwich before continuing, “Anyway, that’s it. I just connected the dots.”

“How ingenious you are” Donghyuck dryly, “Good job, Yuta. Try to solve the maths questions on your own today, okay?”

“Oh fine…”Yuta chuckled proudly before it hit him “I am Yu-Are you taking a piss out of me? No, I didn’t study for the test.”

“You should have” Donghyuck stood up, and grabbed the sandwich to discard it. He stood in front of the trash, deeming if Yuta was telling the truth. Would Mark ask him out? Even if he did, upon some godly miracle, what would he tell?

Well, the most important of all was, _w__as he even in love with him? _He knew he was, but it was so hard to admit to himself. He was in love with his a bit airhead, softly gaunt, lanky legged and the most ( he would only say this once) beautiful person he had ever seen.

He craned his neck, only to watch in horror. Yuta was shuffling frantically inside his bag and was pulling out the book he bought for Mark. Yuta, and his hobo like antics. Donghyuck should have known better.

“Why the hell are you snooping through my stuff?!”

_“Strangers On The Train?”_

˖◛⁺⑅♡

“Why isn’t Donghyuck answering my calls? It is either, the line is busy which means I am blocked or straight away disconnected. Did I do something?” Mark asked worriedly, and Johnny seemed like he could care less. He languidly propped another piece of the chocolate cupcake into his mouth and chewed on it slowly.

“I guess he just doesn’t have your number?” Johnny gulped the cupcake with a down of his water bottle. Mark had that unsettling feeling in his stomach, churning his insides. The cupcake looked unappealing (no offense to Johnny), and he didn’t feel like touching it any soon. On top it all of, Donghyuck wasn’t by his side to celebrate his small birthday celebration, to which he looked forward to the whole week prior. It wasn’t the best day, but he gathered up so many feelings and words, to _finally-_

_ask Donghyuck out._

That foolish airhead, undeniably (he will say this once) handsome wouldn’t even answer his calls.

˖◛⁺⑅♡

“Why do you have_ Strangers On The Train_ in your bag?” Yuta turned the book over and found the green sticky note plastered over it, “Oh I know why.” Yuta scratched the note of the hardcover, and read the words aloud, letting Donghyuck suffer in his containment of rage, worry, and just embarrassment.

_“Dear Mark Lee, Happy Birthday. I hope you have fun reading this book. From your-Secret Santa.”_

“Why Secret Santa?” Yuta asked, taping the note back on to the cover.

“Because…Mark didn’t get this book for Christmas last year?” Donghyuck winced, hoping that would feed to Yuta’s curiosity. He took long strides towards the hunched classmate of his to seize the book back. He meticulously straightened the crumbled note before pushing it back into his bag. Donghyuck partly prayed that the sticky note didn’t lose its glue and fall off the book. It was the most important part.

“You like him, don’t you?”

“No, Yuta. I don’t.” He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket, and he picked it from inside his pocket. He quickly hung up the unknown call and categorized it into his blocklist. Jamming the object back into his pocket, he hogged his space beside Yuta. Donghyuck could feel Yuta’s stare on him and he regretted lying to him despite the lack of choices there. _Tell him to be made fun of the rest of the year, and don’t tell him to beat yourself up upon the supposed secrets you have._

“I don’t believe you.” Yuta prodded, poking his shirt from behind.

“Your choice. I am not giving the book him, anyway. I am going to just return it to the library.” No, the library wasn’t kind enough to take it back, and he knew it well. Donghyuck was just going to let it rot on his shelf, and survive another 3 days without lunch. He was in a deep rut, but he can crawl of it, he was sure.

_He didn’t like Mark, _**_**he was sure.**_**_But then again, he did._

“Call him. Call Mark, and say that you like him. This is going to be his best gift ever.” Yuta cheered, jabbing his elbow aggressively on to Donghyuck’s back. Donghyuck sighed turning sideways to face him, while his face emptied of color. 

“Not.” He stated and turned back.

“Please. If I tell him I convinced you to confess to him, he would buy me a meal. Now, please.”

“Selfish, much?” Donghyuck muttered under his breath, “Also, with the fact he changed his number so many times, I don’t even have his number saved.”

“Okay. But think about it, what’s the harm of telling him? For all I know, he likes you too.”

“Not know, assume,” Donghyuck stated, before swiping his eyes over his bulging back, taking note of the book inside. _Should he try being brave or just let it go?_

They had recess the next period, so Donghyuck quickly went to the locker room to change. Yuta, seizing the chance, quickly snooped through Donghyuck’s bag and picked up the book. Tip-toeing he went back to the class and filed the book in with Mark’s other textbooks. He also sneaked out some of Mark’s birthday chocolates and gobbled it in.

Yuta was doing God’s (_-No, Cupid’s_) work, and he was damn proud of it.

“Good Lord, that was tiring.” Donghyuck heaved, resting his arms on the upholstery of the chair. Their coach was long gone, so they had taken sanctuary in the air-conditioned midget-sized room of his. Yuta had sneaked in a small tennis ball from the court, which he kept on twirling in his hands.

“You didn’t pass me the freaking ball,” Yuta grumbled, walking from one wall to another, eyeing the lime green ball hanging in the air before plopping it into his fist

“Well, with your excellent trained ankles, how could we ever not score a basket? Right?” Donghyuck snarled, picking a pen from the coach’s pencil holder, and started to scribble outline of all kinds of lewd drawings he could garner in his mind. The paper was stapled in between his thumb, as he reminded himself to toss it on the trash before he exited the room.

It would have been trouble if the coach sneaked a peek of it. Not that, he didn’t expect it from a bunch of sweaty and hormonal basketball players.

“Were you being sar-what was that, sarcastic?”_Sarcastic_ being a new word that Yuta had ingrained in his brain after Johnny had told him that Donghyuck was just imitating an expression of giving him compliments. The words usually meant the opposite.

“You tell me.”

Yuta trudged over to the table, to scrutinize what Donghyuck had drawn. It was an odd shape of an erect penis, with curls of pube drawn messily on two (which looked like) bubbles. Yuta displayed an expression of disgust, snatching the paper away from Donghyuck’s hold.

“If you want to draw a dick, draw at least a decent one. What the fuck have you seen in those movies?”

“Dicks.” Donghyuck mumbled, but he didn’t force Yuta to give the paperback. He slumped back against the swiveling chair, which was too comfortable compared to the hard, butt-aching ones they had in class. Donghyuck wanted to sleep, the anxiousness churning in his stomach was eating him up. 

“Thanks.” Donghyuck grumbled, turning his torso to face the other way.

Yuta piped in with a “For what?” before he returned to fix the drawing on the paper, his tongue prying in between his lips.

“For, you know, the book. If not for you, I would have never given it to him.”

“H-how do you know?” Yuta had then looked up from the blinding lime of the sticky note towards Donghyuck, his pen hovering in the air.

“I am not blind. And you are not some Cupid, that you make yourself to be..” Donghyuck brushed with an airy chuckle, before trailing it with a sigh. He wondered if Mark would ever know if it was him. If he would have been happy like he imagined him to be. It was an expensive book, and he wouldn’t hesitate to wring Mark’s neck if he had dared to complain about it.

“Do you like him?” Yuta prodded, “Because, for someone like you, Mark’s seems a bit odd. I mean he is nice…”

“Of course I like him. Why do you think I was mopping around all day?.” Donghyuck uttered, nonchalance evident in his gritty voice... The sleep was slowly inching into his heavy eyelids, and he could feel the whir of the air-conditioner and the scribbles of Yuta’s pen slowly becoming numbing until he could hear emptiness.

“Hey, don’t fall asleep on ME!” Yuta whispered, ironically, not to wake Donghyuck up. He left him to be. 

Yuta’s silence only lasted up until the coach had barged into the room, with a hockey bat standing on his arm. Of course, Yuta gritted his cluttering teeth shut, as the coach had stood so close to Donghyuck’s ear, and proceeded to wake him up with a loud guttural shout.

Donghyuck jolted awake, his arms frantically bracing his weight on the armrest at his either side. He shifted his eyes from the quivering stance of Yuta, and mouthed some curses at him before looking at the fuming, red nostrils of the coach, shoved closely to his face.

To their surprise, they were left alone with detention and they deemed it was coach’s first date in months and he didn’t want their troubles to topple upon his head. Or it was what they had summed up from the two restaurant coupons, where they had unfortunately displayed their artistic talents of drawing dicks.

They just prayed for the coach to never find them.

“You said you were…”Yuta passed some glances from his shoulders, “You know, you never came across as those gushed out characters, all swooning and nervous about gifting someone something.” 

“We just ruined our coach’s date and you are here, wanting to discuss my personality? Yuta, please.” Donghyuck walked a little faster, and Yuta did have excellent ankles to match up to his speed.

“No, Donghyuck. Stop. Just stop.” Yuta said, curling his fingers around Donghyuck’s arms to trip him back. “Talk to me about these things, okay? I am here. I know it, and the least you can do is tell me how you feel.”

Donghyuck sighed and averted his look from their Yuta’s clasped fist upon his wrist to the empty courtyard. It might have rained, seeing how the grasses looked greener than usual, and the sky looming with gray. The sweet reek of rain wafted under his breath, curling in with the end of his hair.

“No.” The words rolled off his tongue swiftly, “I don’t want to.”

“Okay.”Yuta hands fell to his sides, and plunged into his pockets, “Whenever you feel like it, I guess.”

Donghyuck let his eyes hover on his shoes, which had pity patches of soil smeared all over the material. He took a deep breath in, as the reek of rain seemed to flood his conscience as waves of regret. Donghyuck had always avoided facing the truth like that because for all the possibilities there might be, he couldn’t like that particular someone. Someone of his friends.

Yuta bit back Mark’s name as soon as it came to the tip of his tongue like it was a curse. Even though he liked to tease the latter, probably poke his stance once or twice but he didn’t expect Donghyuck to bubble all of it inside. He didn’t want to provoke the chapfallen guy anymore.

“Donghyuck, look…”Yuta uttered, “It doesn’t change anything whether you like him or not-”

“It changes everything, Yuta. Everything.”

˖◛⁺⑅♡

“Donghyuck. Hey.” Donghyuck reciprocated with a groan, before struggling to twist his posture and meet Mark’s eyes. Yuta studied them, as he stilled in an uncomfortable position, to eavesdrop and fill up his notes simultaneously.

“Are you down for a concert next Saturday?” Mark asked, hopeful and Donghyuck only shrugged with a tilt of his lips. The students were required to stand up, as the teacher left the classroom before shooting Mark a birthday wish.

“So, Donghyuck?” Mark prodded, as he took his seat and inched it closer.

“I don’t know. If…I can.” Yuta coughed a little, which caught Donghyuck’s attention away from Mark’s slumped shoulders.

“I will see, Mark. Let’s see.” Donghyuck quickly mumbled, and Mark broke into a grin.

“Donghyuck, what about your gift? Did you give Mark one yet?” Yuta mocked like the prick he was, picking his bag up and proceeded to push down his notebook.

“Sorry, Mark.” Donghyuck sheepishly said, “I will buy you one next time.”

“No, it’s fine.” Mark brushed it with a wave of his hand, “By the way, did you block me on your phone?”

“I don’t even have your number.”

Mark looked affronted, but still pulled out his phone and proceeded to call Donghyuck. Donghyuck phone didn’t even buzz, so Donghyuck lingered on the screen for a while longer as Mark attempted another ring.

“You know what, just give me your number.”

“Alright.”

Donghyuck chucked at the numbers screened on his phone and laughed out loud when he found out how he had already blocked it before. Mark peered curiously, bending his shoulder but Donghyuck pulled the phone away.

“Can I call you tonight?” Donghyuck asked nervously, catching Mark unprepared.

“You can call me anytime. I am going to be at my parents’ anyway.” Mark said and Yuta only rolled his eyes on the side, exasperated. He was sick seeing the love-birds taking those rough so excruciatingly slow. Johnny long tuned them out of his surrounding and continued typing on his phone. Probably to the girlfriend he befriended last Saturday or whatever.

“Okay, that’s cool.” Donghyuck typed Mark’s name on the caller ID and showed it to Mark. Mark gave a sound of displeasure and pestered Donghyuck to decorate the caller ID.

“An emoji is fine. Just don’t keep my name so boring looking.”

“Wow, it is quite unexpected that Mark likes emojis, but I’ll do it.” Donghyuck chuckled, as he searched the keyboard for a long while before settling with one.

“How about this?” Donghyuck showed the crimson, cartoon heart beside Mark’s name.

“I didn’t ask for a heart. But better, I guess.” Mark shrugged and called Donghyuck again from his phone. Mark’s name flashed on his screen, and Donghyuck hid a small smile under his breath.

“Why do you want to call me tonight? Phone sex?” Mark teased, earning a guffaw from Johnny. Donghyuck snapped his neck, squinting at Johnny to keep his lips shut. If it was sex, he was all ears. 

“Homework?”

“Okay, homework.” Mark emphasized the last word, before giggling all to himself. Donghyuck turned back to the front with a huff, and Johnny asked him whether it was homework.

“Phone sex. You should try it though.”

Donghyuck punched Johnny hard on his biceps, the latter eliciting a groan from the pit of his stomach.

“Guess that boxing lesson didn’t go to vain.” Donghyuck said as he admired his own curled up fist. Johnny cowered a little and Yuta only patted his back, comforting him.

˖◛⁺⑅♡

Donghyuck was lying on his back when he dialed Mark’s number. The heart emoji ticked him off a little, but still, he pressed the phone against his ear-cartilages with a heave.

“Hello.” Donghyuck scratched the tip of his nose, and he could hear some sort of cacophony occurring on the other side. He waited for the other to say something, but Mark probably tripped over something to mumble off some profanities.

“Hi, you.” Mark finally said, “My cousins sprawled all of their toys on the floor so I tripped over one.”

“Where are you?” Donghyuck asked eyes stuck on to the empty ceiling, as his hands clutched on his blankets.

“My brother’s room. You?”

“Bed.”

“Are we really through with this phone sex thing? I am not ready-”

“Shut up!” It earned a rhythmic laugh from Mark, which unexpectedly calmed his nerves. Mark didn’t match the jovial disposition, that he sometimes tried at. But somehow Donghyuck loved all of it.

“Hey, I got your gift. Thanks…”Mark inhaled a sharp breath in, “for the book. I will geek about it to you once I finish it. I have it right here…”

“Keep it to yourself. As if you don’t geek enough already.”

“I will buy you a stack of porn magazines once-”

“You can’t.”

“Yeah,” Mark mused another chuckle, “I can’t. I won’t.”

“Hey, Santa…”

Donghyuck reciprocated with a low hum.

“I know its not Christmas yet but I think I know what I want for it already. I have been a decent boy all year, so could you fulfill my wish in advance?”

“What is it, dear?” Donghyuck yawned, falling to his side and he snuggled deeper into his pillows. The day was tiring, with Yuta being all prodding on him and well, his secret got spilled. But, Mark took away the heaviness that weighed him down on the comforter.

“Could you convince my best friend, Donghyuck, to go out with me? Like to a concert I mean,” Donghyuck could feel his arms relaxing under the cool of the air-conditioner,” It’s on our friendship thing day and I want him to come. Could you…”

“I don’t know Mark. I don’t have any empty slots, especially on the day you want. I’ll try.”

“Thanks. For trying.”

Donghyuck smiled, and his hands ached from pressing the phone for such long time against his ears. His heart was beating, as if it felt crushed to fragments, and spilled out all over his ribcage. He was falling gently, lulling himself to romance and to the hope of loving someone a little different but similar to his own.

“Happy Birthday, Mark.”

˖◛⁺⑅♡

“Mark Lee!” Donghyuck hollered behind me, his throat turning hoarse after the fifth repetition of his name. Mark was busy buckling his belt, behind the closed-off cubicle. Donghyuck’s hands remain wet above, the overflowing sink as he seethed in disgust. You couldn’t help but expect an overflowing sink in the school’s bathroom, it was well-known notoriety of every school he had ever known. But that day, it well exceeded itself with three simultaneous overflowing sinks.

“Mark!” he inhaled through his teeth, “Lee!”

The cubicle door slammed open, revealing the disheveled shirt, the coat loosely taking its place on his arms and his hair sticking in the air as if it belonged there. Donghyuck swiveled back, his back resting along the ledge of the sink, a smile turning up his lips.

“Did you rub yourself there?”

Of course, Mark’s face scrunched up to bewilderment.

“No shame! No shame!” Donghyuck said, stifling his laugh with his fist. Mark strode towards him, wrapping up his hands around his neck into a loose head-lock. It was something Mark always did whenever Donghyuck picked fun with him on something he did or didn’t do.

“Why are all the sinks overflowing?” Mark asked after a while, slowly releasing Donghyuck from his embrace. Donghyuck shrugged and cursed on to some lower class. They were usually up to no good, and they always failed to keep up to the expectations, no matter what. Once he found, the bidet filled up with kimchi to the brim, splashes of it stained on the floor like blood. It wasn’t a mind-blowing prank as they might think it had been. Inconvenient but not exactly clever.

“Those imbecile juniors…”Donghyuck said with a grave sigh, “Just lightly wash your hands and let’s go. Johnny and Yuta are waiting and if we are slightly late…you know how they are.”

“Totally unreasonable.” Mark huffed, winding the sink loosely, and caressing his hand under the sink. Mark was never careful with his antics…as Donghyuck scrutinized the water creeping down his full-sleeved arms, drenching the hem, in dismay. Upturning his lips, Donghyuck quickly grabbed his arms and folded the hems, muttering some phrases under his breath.

“Don’t be like that.” Donghyuck said, his sentences reaching the tension of nags, “What are you going to do without me?” He soon left Mark’s hands be and noticed the slack smirk Mark plastered on his face.

The water discharging from the unhygienic sink muffled the next sentences Mark said. Donghyuck lingered his stare on Mark’s clasped wet hands under the sink, his lips moving to form words he couldn’t comprehend.

“What did you say?” Donghyuck asked after the sink was tightened.

“Nothing.” Mark shrugged, “Just something about you that you don’t need to know.”

Johnny and Yuta met them at the school’s entrance, black university jackets hanging on their shoulders, like permanent fitting. You would never see them without it, it was like a second skin to them. Donghyuck was pestered by Johnny multiple times to order one, so he could “fit in” but he never saw the need to.

Afternoon streets were usually stripped empty, and Donghyuck with others would find themselves extremely carefree, walking around with airy hops, hands dug deep into the third fried food they bought from the street vendor. Mark would always have his arms wounded around Donghyuck’s shoulders, keeping him close while Johnny would walk backward, explaining animatedly about some school anecdotes or something gross he encountered. Times like that, Yuta would have his lips sealed shut, only opening it to grab a bite off of Donghyuck’s melting ice cream. The sun would shower them with its raging rays of orange hue, highlighting the path they walk on a golden road.

At the day’s end, the sun would set sadly behind them, calling on the darkness and crowds to fill p the streets. By then, Johnny would be gone to his daily tutoring lessons, Yuta disappearing to an internet cafe while the ones who would be left behind would be Donghyuck and Mark, indulging in some stupid discourse about school. You wouldn’t be surprised by how much the topic, “School” hogged their daily conversations, and they would always find themselves talking about it.

Mark had his hands buried in his pockets, walking slowly alongside Donghyuck as they reached their neighborhood. The uphill road was tiring but the glittering lit up urban buildings made the walk worth it. Donghyuck didn’t want Mark to drop him home, but the latter was very persistent about, bringing up recent news about kids getting kidnapped.

“Am I a kid?” Donghyuck asked, deadpan eyes staring at Mark’s taut lips.

“No…” Mark shook his shoulders, “Well, I just thought-”

“Okay, fine…you drop me home but then you will be going back alone right? What’s the chance that you are not going to get kidnapped?”

“Yeah…” Mark had nothing to say and Donghyuck didn’t want to irk him anymore.

“Okay. Fine. You take me home today and hopefully I will do the same for you tomorrow. Let’s switch, okay?”

Mark, tight-lipped, nodded. Donghyuck knew Mark wasn’t exactly delighted with how he handled the matter, taking it on himself to compromise. Mark never looked forwards to any kind of compromise, always putting others in front of him, prioritizing their safety over himself, and sometimes it frustrated Donghyuck to the point they once got into an argument. Fists were exchanged, bloody nose, and scratches on the corners of their lips. Although horrible, the argument made itself the reason Mark and Donghyuck were such close friends in the first place.

Once Donghyuck could make out the shabby walls of his apartment from a block away, he deemed he should bid Mark farewell then. Mark was keeping his eyes over the petite cottages from their uprising hill road, his hand gripped tightly over the weak wooden fence, a longing expression stretched on his face. They hadn’t talked much, after his birthday. Donghyuck didn’t ask about the book neither did Mark comment anything about it.

It was always passive among them, they talked about what others did but not much about what they did. Donghyuck always thought Mark presented himself as someone with a boring disposition, with nothing to add in conversations. Along the way, that impression grew on Donghyuck too, and he stopped adding anything personal about him too. It was odd, but it was fine until Donghyuck started liking him.

Donghyuck cleared his throat, before calling out to him.

“Mark.” It broke the latter away from his reverie, craning his neck to look at Donghyuck, wistful eyes drilling into him, “I am here.”

“I will walk you to the entrance,” Mark said, already taking a stride.

“No…I can go by myself.”

“Okay.” Mark turned around and gingerly inched his hand to grab Donghyuck’s. He softly nudged it close, and muttered an inaudible, ‘thank you.” Donghyuck wouldn’t have heard him properly if cars were whooshing by, muffling what Mark wanted to say. But thank god for the absence of cars, the emptiness of the streets and lack of children crying and shouting.

Donghyuck wanted to listen to Mark all along. The only thing he had to do was speak.

“Your welcome.” Donghyuck reciprocated with the same tone, although he wanted himself to sound sincere.

“Will you-” Mark looked up, meeting his eyes before lowering it down again, “-Did Yuta say something about the concert? Anything related to a date or something?”

“Nope.”

Mark sighed, akin to a relief washing over him. A grin broke on his face, as he sheepishly scratched his nape, swiping his eyes over the glimmering city lights. He walked across and leaned on the fence, studying the scenery with squinted eyes. Donghyuck slowly walked beside him, imitating his posture, by shifting his weight on the linked fists over the fence.

“Donghyuck…”The wide smile was still stretched on his face, “…I read the book. I finished it within three days you know…. I liked it. Thank you. Where did you get the money?”

“Well…” Donghyuck mused with a laugh, he couldn’t hide it even if he wanted, “I kind of gave in my lunch and dinner money in it.” Donghyuck quickly added, as he watched Mark’s face churn into a simple rage of sacrificing his food money for him, “Jaehyun is sharing his food sometimes and other times I would live on pop tarts, You don’t how delicious they are when you are hungry. You should try it.”

Mark shrugged, sliding close to his side, his warmth slowly manifesting on Donghyuck. Donghyuck quickly diverted his eyes and set it on the horizon, scrutinizing the lights going blur under the raven sky. Skies never looked impressive as it did then, as the sheet of golden ripped among the empty terraces and stars aligned behind the transparent curtain of pollution and smoke. It was a perfect night for a barbecue, but only if he dared to ask Mark to his apartment.

“Poptarts…otherwise are trash.” Mark sighed after a while, trailing his fingers among the rough edges of the fence.

“Uh-huh.” Shivering to himself, Donghyuck turned around, resting his back on the weak wooden safeguard, “You know, Jaehyun lost his job yesterday. The paper company sacked him because of his laziness or just because.”

“Poor him…”Mark winced in empathy, “Jobs are harder to find these days. I saw him at the subway the other week. I asked about you and he said you should be the last person to do laundry ever.”

“Oh yeah…I kind of ruined his white shirt with my yellow shorts. Well, now it is a yellow shirt.”

It made Mark laugh heartily, and Donghyuck couldn’t help but watch. It was times like that, he would realize how love sicken he was, tracing the corner of his lips, the seamed wrinkled on his cheeks and hair flopping upwards as he lolled his head back. The scene would helplessly repeat itself on his bed, with his eyelids drooped close, the darkness becoming a mere backdrop for the countless projection. But Donghyuck would never be tired of it. He would never be tired of seeing Mark’s back slowly diffuse away among the crowded darkness of the streets or how Mark would wave after a few steps, grinning wide and mouthing endless goodbyes.

The screen lit up across Donghyuck’s face, as he laid on his bed taking soft breaths. Whenever night came across, rather than feeling sleepy, he wanted to rewind all the montages of the day, relieving each. He missed Johnny, who was too quick to tease him about his late-night expeditions on the porn site or Yuta, who wouldn’t give him a bite of his chicken even though he had devoured Donghyuck’s share of the SET or Mark, with whom his sentences always felt regretfully short.

Typing curtly on his phone, he sent…

** _ **“Wanna go the coin laundry with me?”** _ **

** _ **“It’s midnight.”** _ **

** _ **“Next time, okay?”** _ **

Donghyuck tossed and turned on his bed, whining softly as he kicked the blanket off his feet, leaving it bare. The ceiling fan cried, along with the far howls of a dog fight taking place nearby. Jaehyun was most probably studying for his net job interview next room, or chatting up his girlfriend. Donghyuck delved his right cheek into the cushion, feeling the softness leaving an imprint on his skin. Among all the disturbances of the night, the long-awaited sleep lulled in the warping dreams of the lost afternoons and weirdly, melting ice creams.

˖◛⁺⑅♡

** _ _ **

“I dreamed of ice cream. Like I was the one serving ice creams.” Donghyuck broke to Yuta, who was preoccupied with his phone to listen to him. He mumbled off some hums, and yes’s but it was too apparent that he didn’t give a fuck about what he dreamed of. But still, Donghyuck continued, “You know who was my manger? Fucking Mark. He was telling me what to do and not to do. Reprimanding me.”

“Some type of wet dreams you have.”

“Shut up.” With a punch on his biceps, Donghyuck twirled his haunches front, focusing on the scribbles written on the board. He had to mood to write, as proved by his empty notebook so he thought to steal Mark’s notes before leaving class.

“Are you going to the concert?” Somehow, Yuta’s attention was on Donghyuck’s, which was strange in the least. You see, whenever Yuta is engrossed in his phone, typing and tapping away, it was difficult to catch his attention anyhow. But the fact, he was interested in Donghyuck’s presence in the concert was bewildering.

“I don’t know.” Donghyuck did a small shrug, pretending to write something on the corner of the paper, in case the professor came to look at his way, “I am still deciding. The date is only a day away but-”

“Mark kind of prepared a lot for this. Don’t break his heart, man.”

“I am not breaking his heart.” Donghyuck tone disturbed the quietness of the classroom, enticing a cough from the old man, “I said I’m still deciding. Plus, I am not even sure if he will be asking me out or whether you are fucking telling me is the truth.”

“Of course, I am telling the truth. I am just warning you.”

“Warning me?” Donghyuck gave a frustrated chuckle, “I am in love with him. If he likes me, I am in fucking Cloud 9, okay?”

The last statement was well proven by the bold names of Mark stricken across his page, like a brand. Yuta nodded, pleased by his answer before leaning in, and planning the way they were going to steal Mark’s notebook. Johnny’s notes were always a no-go, almost banned, because of how crass all of the pages were. It was as if, the notebook was dipped in the mind of a 14-year-old boy, going through the depths of puberty and discoveries of porn.

˖◛⁺⑅♡

“Mark…I am going to go. To the concert, I mean, Be sure to buy me lots of food to pay for my time, okay?”

“Busy man!” Mark laughed, as Donghyuck pressed the phone closer to his ear, “Thank you. Really.”

Donghyuck could feel the urge to wallow in his roe for calling Mark, to just inform his supposed arrival. It felt unnecessary, when he hung up the call with a swift, “Bye”. He shouldn’t have called Mark, he thought. But then again, the happiness swirling inside him, dancing with his blood, made him think it was alright.

˖◛⁺⑅♡

“Hey!” Johnny swung his arm around Donghyuck’s and pulled his shoulders close, “I heard you were coming.”

Donghyuck wriggled himself out of Johnny’s enclosed hold, face scrunched in annoyance. Johnny had the pronounced habit of being too touchy-feeling, his gesticulations often unrestrained even though it meant kisses of affection on both cheeks.

“Are you coming too?” Donghyuck asked, sitting in the stool, uncommonly placed at one corner of the classroom. The sunlight oozed in, from the light curtains fluttering in the 6 o clock breeze. The school was empty then, few students sparse on the verdant playground. Donghyuck could make out a few of them; Mark, of course, standing out like a sore thumb only to his eyes.

“Yes.” Johnny said after a while, sharing his scene. The reek of bubblegum came wafting under his nose, making Donghyuck sniff a bit. Johnny mused himself, chewing one of the gums he always had in his pocket.

“I heard you like Mark.”

Donghyuck rolled his eyes, “Yuta, that motherfucker.” on the verge of leaving his mouth.

“No…it wasn’t Yuta who told me that. Actually, it was Mark.”

“What do you mean?” Donghyuck had his eyes stuck on Johnny then, in mere disbelief.

“Oh well…” Johnny turned around, the mighty cheers of the football players left forgotten as a blur, “He asked me if it was true. If you liked him. Someone told him that you liked him or whatever. Obviously, I didn’t know then. So I said no and I don’t care. I really don’t care, you know.”

“Get to the point.”

“Anyways…I kind of figured out from then. How you are always checking him out and stuff.”

“Keep your eyes to yourself, Johnny,” Donghyuck huffed, throwing the crumbled wrapper of the gum on his face.

“I could tell the same about you.”

˖◛⁺⑅♡

_The worst times come to find you when you least expect it. Or when you expect it, but you make yourself believe it's okay. The horoscope popping up on my phone isn’t going to hurt me. _Donghyuck had such a similar case.

The message his eyes caught on first in the morning was, “Stay home. Home is protection, the outside world is a curse.” Pretty poetic, he knew. Brooding and eerie too nonetheless. Donghyuck cared less about it, even though his mind had its way of maneuvering there.

The day, if not evident, was the D-DAY. The concert, where Mark would supposedly get on his knees, magically present a ring and propose to him. Donghyuck would be naughty, jokingly reject him only to swoop him in a kiss. He played the scene thousand of times in his head already last night and even rehearsed his dialogues to tick Mark off. (Even though he knew confessions like that didn’t end up in one knee, but what if).But only if future played around like you would think it would.

Firstly, Jaehyun was nowhere to be found. The petite living room was empty, the cups piled in the sink and last night’s takeout paper plates disorganized on the table. All of it was, of course, the proof that Jaehyun wasn’t home last night, and he was gone for more than 24 hours then. Donghyuck groaned, catching his head in the cup of his hands. He looked around for a while, the unwashed dished irking his eyesight.

“Donghyuck!” He scolded himself, “Wash the fucking dishes every time you eat, damn it!”

He was feeling more jittery than usual, the fact that the concert would be starting in 12 hours was petrifying to even think about. The scenes he devised if only concluded to be a failure, would be the reason for the haunting embarrassment that he had to carry all life long. Not to mention, Mark would be so disappointed. He couldn’t bear to see him like that, proposal or not.

He roughly washed the dishes in his own accord, as he couldn’t leave it out for the cockroaches to manifest on them. Every corner he peeked into, didn’t have Jaehyun’s memo that he would be out for the day. Not even on the mini-fridge. On top of it, the daybreak dawned late on Donghyuck, stupidly having his alarm set to 6 in pm rather than am. His watch pointing to 2 in the lunchtime then, breakfast plans flying off the window.

Finally, all of the ordeals apart, he was supposed to meet the ensemble of jokers (his friends, of course) concisely at 6 in the evening. He could afford to rush all his chores by then, pick up a nice edgy outfit from his closet, brush his hair to look presentable (or just show up casually, didn’t matter)by 6 if he only was Sonic the Hedgehog.

But Donghyuck tried. He washed all the utensils hogging the sink, ironed his clothes and cleaned his room simultaneously and fished out his outfits from his closet, only to throw them on the bed for another hour of contemplation. His phone buzzed with notification of thousand of reminders, text from Yuta, Johnny about his whereabouts and Mark, of course, asking if he was going back on his word. He quickly typed back, “Don’t worry. I am just a bit late.”

A bit, bold on his sentences, was an understatement. He wasn’t a bit late, it was fucking 8 in the evening. 6 full hours slipped away in between his finger gaps without restraints, as Donghyuck was there looking dumbfounded. How come it all went by like that?

Still, Donghyuck wanted to make it. At least to the station, so he could grab a bite in some diner and apologize for being tardy. Treat them with the petty amount of money he had left. But, he could almost draw out the sagged lines on Mark’s face, heavy with regret, and perhaps he would maintain an oath of silence just to tick Donghyuck off. Donghyuck wouldn’t mind if he did so, because he deserved it.

He didn’t deserve a proposal, but a load of shit thrown at him.

He quickly slipped into his worn-out denim jacket, holes appearing on his sleeves wherever cockroaches pleased. He stretched out a Converse on his feet before locking himself out of the apartment with one last look.

The station was empty, people walking away leaving the reek of sweat, and emptiness behind. Office hours were almost finished, hence the lack of people commuting to and fro. Donghyuck felt slightly overwhelmed as the sight of the crowd should have made him feel at ease, but there were none there.

“Donghyuck!”

When he turned back, he could make out the flop of hair jumping in the air, legs striding fast coming close to him, hands raised high in the air, waving to catch his attention. Donghyuck looked away, knowing well who it was approaching him.

“Wait!” Mark panted behind him, hands reaching out to pull Donghyuck back.

“No!” Donghyuck wrenched his hand away from his hold and continued to walk upfront.

“Why are you throwing a mood swing?” Mark walked in front of him, blocking him from dodging away, “I didn’t say a thing.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Just stop…okay? I need to tell you something.” Mark said, curling his hands around his wrist to pull him towards one of the wooden benches. The dim lights highlighted the tiles they walked on, and Donghyuck kept his eyes lowered, scrutinizing their mingling shadows. Donghyuck took a seat in the farthest corner of the bench, squeezing himself to the arm ledge. Mark sat close to him, keeping a decent space in between them.

“The concert got canceled actually. A week ago.” Donghyuck flipped his neck to look at him, “I didn’t want to tell you. Or we didn’t want to tell you. It seemed you were excited about it.”

Donghyuck knitted his eyebrows in the middle, before twining his fingers into a fist to punch him. But he couldn’t do it, his raised hands fell limp on his lap, as he bobbed his head in understanding.

“Do you know why I was excited?”

“It was your first concert?”

“Not really” Donghyuck shook his head, looking ahead at the almost empty subway screeching to a stop, one or two people boarding off on the platform, “I was excited to see the concert with you. I thought that finally, you’ll tell me-”

“Tell you what?”

“I am making a fool of myself, aren’t I?”

“You always make a fool out of yourself.” Mark smiled wistfully, as Donghyuck finally build up the courage to look at him. But he didn’t push him away, like he always did, neither slapped his arms mischievously or pull his ears. He only looked at his profile, making out the faint blemishes upon which he wanted to run his fingers over.

“But tell me…I don’t want to tell you what to tell me. You know exactly what I want to hear.”

“No…I don’t.”

Donghyuck pulled a dubious expression on his face, looking at him unimpressed, “Really?”

“Okay…” Mark trailed, before darting his eyes over to his fumbling fingers and then back at the hoard of people drawing close to the platform, waiting for the last train home. Donghyuck waited, and it felt like hours eating up his anxiousness, and heart somersaulting inside his ribcage with each passing second.

“I think I like you?”

“Was that supposed to be a question? Am I supposed to answer that?”

“No! No!” Mark lifted his hands to flail it profusely, “I am sure of it. I like you.”

“Boy to a boy. A man to a man?” Donghyuck questioned while all of the last night’s fantasies got thrown out of the window like vomit because among that humid subway, surrounded by a bunch of strangers giving them the stink eye and trains passing and going without another glance, was the best he could imagine and he couldn’t believe it.

“Mark to Donghyuck. I like you from me to you.”

“From me to you. That sounds greasy.” Donghyuck gingerly took Mark’s hand in his, and clutched it on the top of his thighs, pinching his fingertips, “But I bet…I liked you first.”

“Everything ain’t a competition, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked it, don't forget to leave comments and kudos!


End file.
